Chiseled in Rock: teaching writing

Showing posts with label teaching writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Bit in Bora Bora — Teaching through the Islands

We're delighted to again welcome Karen Albright Lin to Chiseled in Rock!

Karen consults and edits for published and yet-to-be published writers of fiction, nonfiction, and book proposals. She writes in a number of genres and conducts writing workshops in various venues, including on cruise ships.

If you missed her three previous blogs, you might enjoy reading them before this installment, as she first shared her preparations in anticipation of teaching classes while on board her latest cruise, discussed some of the downsides to teaching on a cruise, and introduced us to new tablemates and the private beach on Moorea.

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Karen Albright Lin:

As an enrichment speaker, I only teach on sea days. It was the second day of our first Princess cruise, another port day, Bora Bora. I wouldn’t teach for the first time on this ship until the next day. But that didn’t mean I had no obligations.

As per my broker, I’m to consider myself a representative of the cruise line, expected to help in making it a good experience for the passengers, smile, and report small problems to my broker instead of the cruise line. I should never complain about the cabin assignment – the bunk beds were… um… different than what we had on our Celebrity cruises. But my husband and I are very flexible and creative people.

The Princess Patter, our daily 4-page guide to life at sea, welcomed us to a French Polynesian paradise just waiting to fill our camera’s memory card with images of black pearls and sea life.

After grabbing some towels from the pool deck, we collected our tender ticket and waited our turn to line up and have our Princess Cruise IDs swiped so they could prevent leaving anybody behind. We scooted down the ramp to the tender boat. When the port area isn’t deep enough, the ship must stay at a distance and ferries zip us to and from port to ship. We were warned to watch the time; the last tender would leave shore at 16:30. This advice became important on another island—tease!

Passengers using motorized scooters had to stay on board if they were unable to be assisted onto the tender without their equipment. It mattered with this older crowd; Wen and I were babies on the ship.
Once on shore, we ignored the aggressively soliciting vendors—who, we were told, lived totally different lives when no ships were in port. We hired a boat with three other couples to go out and swim with the sharks and stingrays.

As we slipped along on the sapphire water, our fellow travelers asked me what type of compensation I received for being a speaker on the ship. I did exactly as I was advised to do by my broker. I answered, “I have an agent, Posh Talks, who handles the details.” In reality, two cruises for free.

We anchored. Scuba divers explored below us as we snorkelers slid into the chilly water (me the only one unapologetically in a full body wet suit).

Our captain pulled out fish parts, coaxing to us a dozen rubbery stingrays. They swarmed in. I was covered by a writhing gray mass.

Not scared, despite Steve Irwin’s ironic death by stingray, I placed one hand above and one below one of the water flyers to let it slip through. I felt my thumb being sucked and swallowed, then a clamp down with teeth. Teeth? I thought they simply had sucker mouths. I had no idea I was exposing myself to little sharp fangs. The greedy bugger figured out quickly that I wasn’t food and unclamped.

Nobody seemed to worry as I announced it and stared at the puncture marks on my thumb.

They were all distracted by the blacktip sharks circling us, drawn by the fish smell. Lucky for my other thumb, or any parts of any of us, these reef sharks were too shy to come within reach. Good thing. I wasn’t up for being bit again.

After returning on the last tender, we watched the lush hills recede as we backed out of the bay at 17:00 sharp.

The next day was a sea day and my first scheduled lecture. I reviewed my PowerPoint presentation one last time, decreasing the number of words on some of the slides. The fewer the better and the more basic the message the better. This is especially true for an audience made up primarily of non-writers.
I wouldn’t know until that night’s Patter delivery where on the ship I would present and when. I was surprised at how laid back I was about a new ship venue and unknown passenger interest. Guess the holes in my thumb would put teaching about Writing Your Life into perspective. The next few days I checked to be sure my thumb didn’t get infected with some kind of ichthyic staph. All was well. It seems salt water is a pretty good disinfectant.

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Thank you, Karen!

Please join us on July 23rd for the next installment in Karen's series on Teaching through the Islands!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Private Beach and New Tablemates: Moorea

We’d boarded the Sea Princess in Tahiti, Wen as a passenger, me as an enrichment speaker. I was scheduled to teach 6 writing courses, one for each sea day. That first day, we dealt with a few snafus getting my credential badge, but we got the OK to leave the ship the next day in Moorea. Behold the remarkable jagged mountains! Michener’s legendary Bali Ha’i, Bloody Mary of the South Pacific, certainly had bragging rights.

Told that the entire coast of the island could be driven in an hour, we rented a scooter, buzzed along pocked roads, pulling to the side for trucks whizzing by. Rain threatened but only spit. We drove past blowholes then up to a lookout spot,

stopped at an outdoor cultural center,

and we pulled over at a little roadside stand to eat a dozen of the first YELLOW passion fruit I’d ever seen.

The island, it turned out, takes over 3 ½ hours to circle. When we got to the only “public beach” it was closed off and labeled “private beach.” We later learned it closes to the public when cruise ships come in because the hotel guests don’t appreciate the crowds pouring in. Huge disappointment.

I’ve taught on three cruises in the last year and found each time that the local lifestyle changes dramatically on the days the ships come in. In the islands, I understand their lives are slow and laid back until the days they have a flood of people to whom they can market their wears (from China-made trinkets to black pearls) and their services (from foot massages to private tours).

That evening was Dress Casual, tough ribeye, so-so asparagus salad, and disappointing cherries jubilee. Food was lackluster. The best part of every meal were the 4 tablemates we would share dinners with the rest of the cruise. Entertaining would be an understatement. Both couples (like 99% of the passengers) were from Australia, both (like 99% of the passengers) were older than us but energetic, intellectually dynamic, and young at heart.

Couple number one would be failures on The Dating Game.

I’d like to think Roger and Emily’s discord was attributable to having already spent 15 days on the ship in tight quarters before Wen and I boarded. The two of them interrupted and criticized each other, lectured me on my right-handed fork work and general lack of the queen’s etiquette, and endlessly reminded us of their “affluence.” Literally using that word! It was enough to disturb digestion, if we weren’t busy laughing about it.

Mike and Denise from Cairns were quite different, her a warm and charming woman, always beautifully put together “even when she goes to the grocery store,” complete with a coordinated silk flower in her hair. Mike was a marriage counselor with remarkable bushy and expressive eyebrows, an affectionate man who happened to have an interest in a celebrity whose memoir I contracted to ghostwrite a while ago. Synchronicity only began there with this couple. Mike had done some writing and, as I teased, became one of my lecture groupies. Denise and he offered to take us to their favorite restaurant in Cairns where we would go after the cruise. At the tail end of our trip, half a month later, we happened to be eating in a little Thai hole-in-the-wall in Cairns and in walk Dennis and Mike. We’ve stayed in touch since. There’s a reason these things happen, and it might have something to do with writing and the singer we both have an interest in. The future will tell.

Aside from the company, the dinners never met my expectations, but the Aussies loved most nights’ meals. Only after I later tried Australian cuisine did I understand why they raved over the ship’s food. On a budget, ethnic foods seem to be the only way to go in Australia. I’m a cook and food writer, so I may be a tough one to please. But seriously… meat pies and fish and chips can only be eaten so many times. But that’s for another post.

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Thank you, Karen!

We hope you'll drop by Chiseled in Rock on July 9, 2014 for the next installment in this series, Bit in Bora Bora-Teaching through the Islands!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Downsides to Teaching on a Cruise: Boarding the Sea Princess

Karen Albright Lin:

Wen and I said goodbye to our lovely hotel on Papeete, Tahiti and effortlessly boarded the Sea Princess. Not only was I VIP because I was a “guest lecturer,” but there weren’t others lined up with bags since I was boarding midway through a 32-day cruise. Celebrity cruises had been somewhat of a trial because there were hoards of guests with bags and dock staff seemed uncertain of where my bags should go on the ship (crew is separate from the other passengers).

Princess was a dream until we discovered later that my status on the ship (crew) would be officially different than Wen’s (passenger). That meant he had a typical cruise boarding card and I was going to need my photo taken for a special crew badge (laminex). I wouldn’t be able to leave the ship until I got one. Getting one was not easy. The badge photographer was busy and couldn’t be chased down. This meant we’d have to scramble and find unorthodox ways involving an activity director’s pager and slipping into secure areas to get a badge made for me last minute so I could get off at our first destination: Morea.

A curiosity and concern: Our room had only one key (not a card like other passengers, but an actual key). Another couldn’t be made that day—which could have been a problem because Wen and I thought we’d have to go our separate ways when it looked as though I wouldn’t have my badge in time to get off the ship. I insisted Wen still enjoy the island best known for its snorkeling. The key didn’t show up in the morning, but it still worked out since I got the badge just in time to go off the ship with Wen

Unlike the Celebrity cruises I taught on, where we had outside staterooms with romantic portholes, Princess provided us with an inside room with no window. Disappointing to say the least. But hey, I reasoned, we never spend much time in a stateroom anyway. There was a consolation prize on our crew location; we were directly across from the captain’s cabin. We brushed shoulders occasionally while going in and out, down a hall lined with various plaques and distinctions and curls of smoke – apparently the nonsmoking rules don’t apply to the guy who has 3,000+ lives in his hands.

The biggest and most unexpected disappointment was that we’d be sleeping in bunk beds. My positive slant, it would force us to be more creative.

The activities director, Andrew, reconfirmed with me about schedule and AV needs. Peter, the cruise director, checked in with me about how many typically attend my lectures. I told him 50+ depending on what’s happening at the same time on the ship. He scheduled my first session in a perfect venue, the second largest on the ship – the Vista Lounge. Comfy, with a nice stage, great lighting and sound system.

Later that evening, as Wen and I drank our 60% discounted cocktails. We struck up a conversation with Australian Rock and Roll Legend, Roland Storm, who performed later that night. He called himself a “washed up musician.” He was nice guy with an Australian sense of humor that slipped right past us sometimes.

We explored the underworld of the ship where the cooks, waiters, pursers, janitors etc. live. That was eye-opening. It was its own little universe. Stark, metal floors, bare bones accommodations, ATMs and discount Internet minute machines, unadorned buffet dining that looked nothing like that above, crates of food and cleaning supplies lining the walls, crew office, security office, and the infirmary.

People sat along the medical station wall waiting for treatments for coughs or sea sickness or more severe issues as we learned later. We learned that it was essentially a hospital down there, and that medical treatment is very expensive and often not reimbursed by Australian insurance. 99% of the passengers were Australian. We loved the accents, even if we didn’t always catch what was being said.

Adjusted to the ship, we looked forward to the first port, Morea.

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Thank you, Karen!

We hope you'll drop by Chiseled in Rock next week, on June 25th, for the next installment in this series!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Preparing to Teach My Way Through the Islands. (It Ain't Cheap!)

We're delighted to again welcome Karen Albright Lin to Chiseled in Rock!

Karen consults and edits for published and yet-to-be published writers of fiction, nonfiction, and book proposals. She writes in a number of genres and conducts writing workshops in various venues, including on cruise ships. Today, Karen is sharing how she prepared for her latest cruise and the five classes she would teach while on board.

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Karen:

My last two cruise teaching gigs were with Celebrity Cruise Lines, Belize/CostaRica/Panama and the Baltic, and I previously shared thoughts about those trips here on CIR:

Writers, want a free cruise? The secret is revealed.
Teaching my way through the Baltic, Part 1
Teaching my way through the Baltic, Part 2
Teaching my way through the Baltic, Part 3
Teaching my way through the Baltic, Part 4

This time the offer came from Princess. They wanted me to teach writing courses on sea days from Tahiti to Sydney, boarding the boat midway through a 32-day cruise, taking over for the guest speaker who was on board before me. Tahiti had always been on my list of places I wanted to go. So I signed up, and:

Sent a list of which classes I’d teach on those sea days and what my AV needs would be.

Paid my broker her fee of $70/day for each ship day, which covered my husband, Wen, and me.

Read information provided by Princess (far less material than sent by Celebrity)

Bought the mandatory Medical Evacuation Insurance, cost about $50.

Arranged flights.

My flight to Tahiti was covered by Princess, but my return from Sydney and all of Wen’s travel needed to be covered by us. Mitigating those expenses, Wen had frequent-flyer miles. I chose when I wanted to fly into Tahiti and from what international airport (DIA), they arranged for a fare based on past negotiations and offered it to me. Wen’s would be full fair so we chose to take separate flights to save half the cost (Air France charges considerably more than Tahiti Airlines). We were able to coordinate it well so we would land in Tahiti at almost the same time.

Waited for the arrival of my Maritime Visa that is required by our ultimate destination, Australia, for all those entering who worked on the high seas. This was covered by Princess.

Applied for a Visa for Wen. 20$ at our expense.

Researched any excursions we might want to go on without paying through the more expensive cruise arrangements.

Double checked that my PowerPoint presentations were ready. My broker asks that I always have one more than asked for so that if weather causes one extra sea day. I needed a total of 5 for this Island Cruise. I had 7 prepared. These included:

An important detail: Each of my PowerPoints end on a slide reading “Enjoy the rest of your cruise” accompanied by a photo of the ship. I had to remove the photos of a Celebrity ship and replace it with the Sea Princess.

Checked Internet for what the weather should be like, what clothes to pack.

Fly into Tahiti a couple of days early to acclimate before boarding. We rented a car, stayed at the Tahiti Meridien with a nice private deck with to-die-for views and a delicious included breakfast. We’re talking sashimi, cheeses, meats, chocolate croissants, green grapefruit, a tofu lomi lomi, papaya, and passion fruit to die for.

The ocean and pool were too cold for my taste, but Wen braved the waves three times to snorkel. This cold water theme was to continue as we traveled through the Polynesian islands where unseasonable rain threatened to put a damper on much of the snorkeling. We were determined to make the most of it.

We would board the next day and discover the many differences between teaching on a Celebrity cruise and teaching on a Princess cruise.

Karen Albright Lin

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Thank you, Karen!

Please stop by next Wednesday (the 18th) when Karen will again join us to share some of the downsides to teaching on a cruise. (Downsides?)

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Teaching my way through the Baltic - Part 4, by Karen Albright Lin

Rosenborg Castle

I kept a journal as I visited ports, befriended people of various nationalities, and taught writing courses on sea days. My trip informed my writing. I learned a lot about people from the Baltic, an area of the world I’d never explored. True of all my trips abroad, travel exposed me to the authentic cuisines of other countries, important since I’m a food writer among other genres.

I conquered preconceived notions while conversing with post cold war Russians and two beer-drinking, twice-our-size brothers from Amsterdam: I wiped out a few stereotypes like discovering that few Scandinavians are tall, blonde, and model beautiful--at least in the cities we visited.

Crown Jewels

I learned that people on the other side of the pond are even more politically frustrated than we are. The Brits and Danes resent high taxes, welfare run-amok, national health care, and immigration of Muslims who don’t assimilate. The Scotts resent the Brit’s control over them “for the oil” and their disparity of wealth. Every country represented on ship and shore was crushed by inflation (9 dollars for a gallon of gas).

Rosenborg Castle

Unusual characters in life might just inspire protagonists and antagonists on the page. We found super quirky in Copenhagen. Danes have a sense of humor. Or at least Christian the IV did. He covered his insecurity and paranoia with hodgepodge décor, a slapped-together art collection, pompous attempts to wow his visitors, and a penchant for practical jokes. Though St. Petersburg’s Church of Spilled Blood had the most remarkable building exterior of the trip. The Rosenborg Castle had the most memorable interior. Built between 1606 and 1617 it contains peep holes in the bedroom doors, as if enemies could somehow make it past guards. He added secret tiles in the floors that allowed music to mysteriously drift up from the orchestra the king relegated to the basement, all to wow his guests. He had deceptive tapestries woven to depict himself triumphant on horseback, leading Denmark as it won battles against their neighbors; we were assured by the museum docents that they won some sea battles but never the land battles and ultimately they lost.

Unicorn Horn Chair

Envying other royals the king had minions travel about purchasing random art. They trimmed them down to fit panels in his home, creating a mosaic of unidentified works on his ceilings and walls proving him to be a snob with bad taste. He claimed his ivory throne was really made of unicorn horn. An ornate tile restroom reminded us of the wanting hygiene of the day; a hole in a wooden bench led right out to the Castle’s moat. If the King’s bad taste didn’t drive them away the stinky moat surely would have. The four corners of a long hall had different corners of the world represented. Europe with an owl, Asia with a camel, Africa with a lion, and the Americas with a head with an arrow shot through it.

The highlight of tacky was the king’s “wet pants chair.” He asked a guest to sit in a red velvet chair, anchored him in at the arms then poured water down a custom cut hole in the back. It dripped down and wet the pants of his victim. Then to add insult to injury, when the hapless visitor stood, the chair made a farting sound, a velvet whoopee cushion. This king was a piece of work, and if the portrait of him in a long hall was any indication, he was extremely ugly, too. So ugly Wen thought the painting might even be a joke, but I doubted it since his Majesty was insecure and wouldn’t likely allow anybody to depict him in this way without chopping off a head.

As writers we sometimes go on unexpected adventures. Copenhagen was no different for us. We hopped on and climbed to the top of an open-air bus to make our way past the famous Tivoli Garden amusement park (claimed to be the most famous in the world – Disney step aside). After several minutes and the departure of other tourists, Wen noticed we were quite a ways off the map’s route. Fun sidetrack? Not really since we were going to be late for the departure of the ship if the route wasn’t as advertised. I climbed down and heard the gasp of the driver as I approached with a map and asked where we were. He didn’t realize anybody was still up top and was almost to the bus depot! So he headed to the port, huffing resentment that his day was going to be thrust back on its usual schedule; he wouldn’t get to quit for the day an hour early.

Little Mermaid

We got off before the usual port stop a short walk from the ship to see the Little Mermaid who inspired the Disney movie but had a more European fate, having lost her land-locked love after giving up her tail for him. A forlorn wisp of a girl, she was smaller than I had imagined her.

Many things in Copenhagen weren’t as I’d imagined them. I like that about travels. I like that about writing fiction. What was the most unexpected thing you ever saw or did while traveling?

~ Karen Albright Lin
http://karenalbrightlin.com/

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Teaching my way through the Baltic - Part 3, by Karen Albright Lin

In March, Karen Albright Lin shared the beginning of her journey on how to teach writing on a cruise. If you didn't have the opportunity to read that blog, here's the link: Writers, Want a Free Cruise? The Secret is Revealed.

In August, Karen shared with us the first two installment on the results of her first trip:

Teaching my way through the Baltic - Part 1
Teaching my way through the Baltic - Part 2

Today, we're visiting the Baltic for the third installment!

To refresh your memory, Karen Albright Lin consults and edits for published and yet-to-be published writers of fiction, nonfiction, and book proposals. She writes in a number of genres and conducts writing workshops in various venues. Her website is www.karenalbrightlin.com.

And now, let's all set sail, and again join Karen in the Baltic!

Janet Fogg

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We’d started in Southhampton, had visited Zeebrugge and its famous beer, Rostock in former E. Germany and its darker beer, Stockholm and its unmemorable beer, Helsinki and its watered-down, poor excuse for beer, and St. Petersberg--where we had no time for beer on our elaborate and expensive excursion. I’d taught “Have a Great Story to Tell” and “Writing Your Life” to the curious and receptive who’d passed up a popular quiz game, mud therapy in the spa, a glass blowing show and the fruit and vegetable carving demo. We were just over halfway through our two-week cruise.

As our capable captain guided us into our next port, beer didn’t come to mind.

Tallin, Estonia is a delightful sum of many quaint parts: little signs hanging above store fronts, cobblestone roads worth walking on despite the risk of twisting an ankle, ornate lamps, earth-toned vertical homes, arched doorways, turrets, and crosses cutting the sky, cute balconies, archery practice for a price, monuments to successful struggles against neighboring countries, sidewalk cafes and an unexpected gem, The Beer House.

After roaming the town between sun showers, we slid into an outdoor bench where locals enjoyed elaborate salads and beers. We ordered two different varieties from the huge beer-shaped menu. 16 oz each.

Wen ordered a silky light Tallin beer; for me it was a local honey beer. Our delicious first sips were distracted when two 300+ pound brothers who might have been twins tried to pry and struggle their way into the bench seat next door. Perhaps spotting our glances, they decided to come and scootch in next to us. They ordered beers that had to be 1 ½ liters. I thought, “This ought to be interesting.” And it certainly was! These two brothers were amusing, and our hour or so with them was one of the most memorable of the trip.

They were frequent travelers to Estonia from Amsterdam and had raunchy tales to tell of their homeland that went beyond medicinal greens and red-light districts. They shared a unique scoop on Estonia and Holland.

Our dinky beers paled in comparison to theirs so we slid our tiny diminutive butts close to them, took up their mugs (larger than my head) and snapped photos for fun. Since the pictures were on Wen’s smart phone, he immediately emailed them to our new giant friends.

We learned a few lessons: don’t judge a dinner neighbor, open up to even the most unusual fellow travelers, and be sure to tell others about the joy of Tallin’s honey beer, a nice finish to a beautiful day in Estonia! The best of our trip!

~ Karen Albright Lin

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Teaching my way through the Baltic - Part 2, by Karen Albright Lin

We’d visited London for a few days before hopping on the ship, meandered through Belgium for the beer and Rostock in former East Germany. I’d already taught “Have a Great Story to Tell?” and “Writing Your Life” to eager cruise guests. My husband and I had taken up daily Zumba, become regulars on the ballroom and pop dance floors, and had gotten used to the norovirus-restrictive dining. It was DAY SIX, time to visit Stockholm.

We saw cathedrals that all became a blur, a palace, and the building where the Nobel Prizes are awarded. Then we lucked into a prized spot to watch the changing of the guards.

DAY SEVEN we docked in Helsinki. We had little time to do much beyond taking photos of Senate Square, the Rock Church, cathedrals, and museums. But we found time to taste their famous rye-battered tiny fish and reindeer meat accompanied by horrendous room-temp 2% local beer. From Belgium forward we’d decided try a local beer at every stop. Exploring the nooks and crannies of new cities is more fun with a bit of a buzz. Starting our search for souvenirs, we skipped over reindeer pelts Wen had eyed, figuring hometown Boulderites would sniff it out. Every thing was very expensive when converted to Euros. And many of the smaller items were made in China.

We’d barely caught our breath when we woke too early on DAY EIGHT and DAY NINE to join a large group on our VERY EXPENSIVE 2-day excursion to Russia’s St. Petersburg. If you arrange for a visa yourself ahead of time it is $300. If you take a $370 excursion it is tucked inside that cost. So double that and you can see that it was the biggest cost of our trip – since frequent flyer miles got us to and from the ship in Southampton. It was worth every penny.

Though our guide was painfully political, bashing Germany every other step, she knew all the hot places to go and got us great spots standing before two DaVincis in the Hermitage – the largest museum collection in the world. Then there was the remarkable Church of Spilled Blood.

One of my favorite indoor places of the whole trip was the amber room in Catherine’s otherwise gold-gaudy baroque palace.

In honor of that amazing room, I brought back amber souvenirs. After all, the ubiquitous nestling dolls were mostly made in China.

Another must-see was the Peterhof with its grand fountains overlooking the Gulf of Finland. Looking back, that excursion was eye opening. The USSR was enemy number one when I was little, one reason we learned to file down to the basement of our schools then duck-and-cover… not only for the Missouri tornados. The Cold War made me fear all things Russian.

I no longer fear it.

I’ll continue with my writer’s journey through the Baltic next month. Stay tuned!

~ Karen Albright Lin

Monday, August 12, 2013

Teaching my way through the Baltic, by Karen Albright Lin

My husband, Wen, and I adjusted to the mid-June BST time zone by staying in London for a few days before taking a bus to Southampton then a taxi to the port. My special boarding letter allowed us into the VIP short line but before we could get into it, we discovered that the port personnel had no idea how to mark our bags. As a guest speaker, my state room wasn’t on the manifest. We were asked to leave them abandoned, isolated from the others. We could only hope they’d make their way onto the ship.

Once aboard, it took a trip to the guest relations desk to find out that our mystery room was just past the “crew only” door. When the bags didn’t arrive, we went searching. We soon found one of them outside another state room door and grabbed it. After informing someone who appeared to be a bag delivery man, we later got the other two.

The first meal was a bit chaotic, as they implemented new server rules after the last trip included a norovirus outbreak. That also explained the obsessive sanitizer guy at the dining room door.

I donned my spiffy blazer and met the activities director and the cruise director to film a teaser for the classes. It would air on the stateroom TVs. We filmed in what would become Wen’s and my afternoon Zumba/karaoke/pop dancing hangout the rest of the trip. In one quick take I gave a brief bio and a general idea of what I would teach. I never turned the in-house TV station on to see it or the subsequent 5 classes I taught.

We spent DAY TWO wandering and sampling terrific beers in Zeebrugge, Belgium.

When the next day’s itinerary was delivered, I discovered that my classes were scheduled parallel to a quiz game modeled on a popular British TV show as well as talks about coming ports. The competition was akin to teaching at a writers’ conference parallel to Donald Maass, Deb Dixon and Robert Crais.

After the luggage SNAFU and the clogged up dining hall, I worried about whether there would be an AV assistant helping me get hooked up to the screen when I was to teach the next day.

DAY THREE, Sea Day, 10:15am, first class: Have a Great Story to Tell? I was relieved that the AV guy was there and a perfect helper. I used a headset like Justin Bieber’s and felt like a star in front of the red velvet curtain, a screen the size of a three-car garage door, and one smaller one off to each side. There were 30 or so in the small theater and I discovered quickly that Brits and Australians (and a scattering of Irish and Scotts) were extremely attentive but did not like to raise their hands when queried. I had to adjust; I was used to U.S. writer attendees who tend to be wide-eyed and eager to contribute. I was thrilled when several followed me out, complimenting my PowerPoint presentation, sharing their stories and asking questions. The number of attendees who chatted with me after the sessions grew over the course of two weeks.

My husband and I are both gregarious. We chose the flexible dinner time and to be seated with new people each night. Along with dancing and socializing every chance we got, this was a great way to get to know many guests and talk up my classes—one reason the attendance grew. A new friendship sometimes overrides a quiz game!

The evening after my first class, we returned to our room to find a “job well done” iced-down bottle of Champaign and a plate of apples. Of course, I called the activities director to thank her.

DAY FOUR we strolled through former East Germany’s Warnemünde and took a train into the quaint town of Rostock to visit the Marienkirche Church and see the world’s oldest working astronomical clock (built in 1492).

DAY FIVE, at sea, I taught Writing Your Life to a bit larger crowd. Lots of fun energy and a few people willing to raise hands and ask questions. Balcony vantage at that evening’s Las Vegas-style show offered a view of a sea of gray and silver hair, many likely interested in puttinig legacies to paper.

If my class motivated a few of those in the crowd to write their stories, I will have earned my free cruise for two.

~ Karen Albright Lin

Monday, March 4, 2013

Writers, Want a Free Cruise? The Secret is Revealed.

Warm sun, Las Vegas style entertainment, enough fru fru food to feed a small nation. Sounds great, right? How would you like to enjoy that cruise… free?

An archeologist/anthropologist friend, Jim, delighted me with his adventures on the high seas. His destinations were exotic like Southeast Asian port cities. I figured he was flush with cash until he told me that he didn’t pay for those cruises.

A bubble of envy surfaced. “How did you not pay for your cruise?”

“I teach on the ship.” He went on to explain that he taught about the culture and history of the destinations. He was uniquely qualified with a specialty. He had dug up mammoths and the oldest Egyptian remains! I smiled and shook my head with great admiration.

Having enjoyed cruises before without taking advantage of most program offerings, it never occurred to me that a writer’s skills would be a draw. It turns out I was missing the boat—oh sorry, ship.

Cruise lines are in constant need of entertainment for their floating customers. There will always be a subset of guests who are eager to learn about the history of a country. (Hear that, Historical writers?) Activity oriented lessons such as deep sea fishing appeal to people who plan to use those skills on excursions. But those offerings only go so far with a more general audience, especially one that’s a bit older and a bit less likely to play tug-of-war with a marlin or dive down 400 feet for treasure.

“You can do it,” Jim said. “You teach writing classes.”

I rubbed at my chin and rolled my eyes thoughtfully. Most people claim to have a book in them. Many aren’t writers but dream of penning their memoirs to pass down to their grandchildren. Hmmm. Why not? I enjoy teaching Writing Your Life and many other workshops in a number of venues: conferences, retreats, MeetUp Groups, schools. It’s fun. BUT they’re all landlocked endeavors. This cruise idea grew on me. I loved every cruise I’d been on with my family. Why not try?

Jim told me his secret. He had a broker that hooked him up with teaching gigs--Posh Talks: http://poshtalks.com/About_Us.html.

I did the research, emailed them, and learned exactly what had to be done to be on their list.

Complete application
Brief bio – written in third person
Current head shot
Proposed topics – including 1 sentence description
PowerPoint Presentations offered as part of the workshops
Videolink on YouTube

The first five were easy; I’d needed them when applying to be adjunct faculty at conferences. I brainstormed what classes might appeal most to Celebrity or Princess or any other cruise line’s customers and made my list. I started with Writing Your Life. I figured it would have the largest appeal. I followed that up with classes that offer the inside scoop on writing fiction, nonfiction, and screenplays. Rather than port-specific, these are all considered general interest programs, as would be courses taught by artists, photographers, and bridge and dancing instructors.

I didn’t have a video link (or even a channel) on YouTube. So I had a friend videotape me as I taught a workshop (thanks Esri!), edited a couple snippets down to 6 and 9 minutes, threw them up on YouTube and voila! My application was done.

After a short wait the offers came pouring in, 3 and 4 every few weeks. Be prepared. Know when you are available, where you’d like to go, and be quick. It’s first come first serve getting your information passed to the cruise line for consideration. I’ve become a quick draw but I just missed a Mediterranean trip the other day. Someone else grabbed it first.

I have two gigs lined up for this year: A summer visit to Southampton, Bruges, Berlin, Stockholm, Helsinki, St. Petersburg, Tallinn, and Copenhagen. Then I have a winter trip taking a Panama/Canal Belize route. Both happen to be with Celebrity, but other lines are offered. I’ll visit Chiseled in Rock in July to report back on St. Petersburg, Copenhagen, etc.—places I doubt I’d have ever visited without this teaching opportunity.

There is a catch. It’s not 100% free--unless there’s a last minute cancelation and, desperate, they pick you up paying all your costs. Under normal circumstances, you pay your own tips and excursion costs. You cover the airfare to and from the embarkation point (the ONLY reason I turned down a recently offered Buenos Aires/Antarctic cruise). And of course you need to be willing to set aside an hour on each of the at-sea days to teach to what may or may not be a small crowd. Jim had times when he had as few as 10 pupils. With writing subjects, a little more cozy means more customized to specific needs.

Later I signed up with another broker, To Sea With Z: www.toseawithz.com

You can learn more about additional brokers such as Sixth Star and what exactly you can expect when teaching on cruises at:
http://www.cruisecritic.com/articles_print.cfm?ID=1176#contact

Karen’s YouTube samples:
6 minute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOMVJFGdV4U
9 minute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88T4zvF2E-Q

You too can enjoy smooth sailing without the cruise cost!

I look forward to checking in with you again in July to tell you about floating Black Jack Tables, Jacuzzi dips as the waves roll past, and the joys of Russian food.

Karen Albright Lin

Karen Albright Lin consults and edits for published and yet-to-be published writers of fiction, nonfiction, and book proposals. She writes in a number of genres and conducts writing workshops in various venues. Her website: http://www.karenalbrightlin.com.