Top Ten Things I Hate About Writing/Being a Writer

I love being a writer. I love words. I love making readers laugh. Even more, I love making readers gasp in surprise. Writing is why I wake up each morning (okay, afternoon). So you’re probably asking yourself (if you are a twelve year old girl), if you love writing so much why don’t you marry it? If you’re a bit older, the question might be phrased a little differently but the ideas the same. If I love writing, why did I title this post the Top Ten Things I Hate about Writing/Being a Writer? What kind of idiot does that?

Mostly because I can. So there!

10. Spelling. That i before e rule is just bull***t! Yes, here it is: My name is Julie and I’m a terrible speller. If I could marry spellcheck I would. Our bond is strong and has lasted nearly a lifetime. Of course spell check is known for cheating and the occasional horrific gaff. Genius to penis in an email to my grandmother comes to mind.

9. Waiting. The publishing industry is all about waiting. Waiting to finish a book. Waiting for agents to read said book. Waiting for tens and perhaps hundreds of agents to reject the same manuscripts. Waiting for an editor to read the manuscript that the agent who kept you waiting for six months before it went out on submission. Waiting for the contract. Waiting for the release date, which is likely a year and a half from now. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. If you can survive the waiting with a shred of sanity than you will succeed.

8. Self-promotion. Even though this is number 8, it sucks more than many of the other things on this list. I don’t mind sending emails to bookstores asking to hold a booksigning at their bookstore. I have no problem wiring a press release or emailing a pitch idea to a news organization. These are things that authors have to do. What I don’t like is going on social media sites and selling myself or my books. I like to interact with my facebook friends. I want to share stuff with my followers on twitter. I like to blog about other books and sometimes politics on my blog. I understand that self-promotion is a necessary evil, but too often that evil is taken too far. Anyway, I have this book coming out on March 1^st. It’s a urban fairytale titled CURSES…

7. Reviews. I’m not going to whine about bad reviews. Yes, they happen. And yes, it sucks when you get one. Enough said.

6. Critique Groups. My first critique group was invaluable, but I didn’t learn so much about craft as I did about ego and bitterness. And really, what other professions offer critiques from peers as a means of bettering one’s self? Can you imagine a group of cops sitting around a doughnut shop…okay, bad analogy…but you get my point.

5. Grammar. I know. I know. I already said spelling and the ‘i before e’ rule, but grammar deserves its own special acknowledgement of hellishness. Present, past, past perfect. WTF? How is it language, the means of communication and ideas, has so many damn rules?

4. Readers. Okay, so this might sound harsh, but readers can be so annoying. Not you. You are FABULOUS! But readers sometimes want stuff to make sense, want characters who they love, want a plot that works, and then on top of that, they want perfect spelling and grammar. What am I, a rocket scientist? I picked a career in writing so I didn’t have to work…

3. Other Writers. Yeah, you know who you are. You’re always trying to get me to hangout in bars and talk in words. Hmmm…scratch that. I only hate writers who don’t pay for my drinks! Or are better at writing than me. Or the ones who sell more books. Oh and those damn bestsellers, what a bunch of…wordies.

2. Punctuation. I love you apostrophe. But damn can you be possessive.

1. Writing. Did I mention this already?

What do you hate about writing/being a writer?

j.a. kazimer is a writer living in Denver, CO. With a master’s degree in forensic psychology, j.a. has worked as a private investigator, bartender, and at the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics. Books include The Junkie Tales (2010), The Body Dwellers (2011), CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale (2012), and Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons (2012). The next book in the F***ed Up Fairy Tale series, FROGGY-STYLE, is forthcoming from Kensington in 2013. Visit j.a. kazimer’s website at http://www.jakazimer.com/

Interview with Agent Sharon Belcastro

Interview with Agent Sharon Belcastro
by j.a. kazimer

It is my pleasure to interview my agent, Sharon Belcastro of the Belcastro Agency for the Chiseled in Rock Blog. Sharon's been my agent for over four years, and I cannot say enough good stuff about her, but I'll let you read for yourself.

JK: Welcome Sharon. Thank you for taking time to answer a few questions for us. First off, can you tell our readers what genres you accept and what sort of thing you're currently looking for?

SB: Thank you Julie. I am so humbled by your kind words and your interest to interview me because I’m really not that interesting. Ha ha. We accept fantasy, all things paranormal, historical fiction, literary fiction, women’s fiction, YA, crime, thriller and suspense, true crime and crime fiction. We aren’t so crazy about chick lit, erotica or straight romance. Right now we are looking for that novel that is unique and addictive regardless of genre. One that grabs us from the first chapter. You know like, "Opening my good eye, I tried to focus, something I regretted immediately. Ivan wasn’t wearing pants, or underwear, or skin for that matter. He stood in front of me in full muscle, veined, and skinless splendor. 'Laundry day?' I gestured to his sagging pectorals." (from The Body Dwellers by me. I told you that Sharon rocks!).

JK: How did you get started in the publishing/agent business?

SB: I’ve always been a geeky book worm. While all the other kids in the neighborhood were playing kick the can, I was sitting on the steps reading a book. But it took me a lot of years to realize I could actually do something with that passion. After a degree in engineering, a master’s in business and 20 years in corporate America, I decided I wanted to really LOVE my job rather than just make a good living. So I took all that I had learned from the business side, took a year studying the publishing business, brought on the talent I needed from the writing side in my partner Ella Marie and launched Belcastro Agency.

JK: How many queries do you receive in an average week? From those, how many requests do you make?

SB: We receive about 50 queries per week and may request 2-3 full manuscripts although we only sign 1 in several hundred manuscripts.

JK: What unique features make you sign a client/manuscript?

SB: A really unique voice and concept and a writer that is not completely head over heels in love with themselves.

JK: What is the most important thing a writer can do for their career?

SB: When it comes to writing, read-read-read. After being published, get your name out there through every outlet applicable. Find all the Facebook pages and communities that relate to your genre and get engaged. Share your advice, experience, expertise, articles you find helpful, everywhere and anywhere you can. Of course mentioning your book as often as you can without being too obnoxious about it.

JK: (CURSES! CURSES! CURSES! CURSES! CURSES! CURSES! CURSES! CURSES! CURSES!) Oops, sorry about that...

JK: What are your current favorite books?

SB: Besides those from our beloved authors of course, I’m tending toward the quirky or the literary these days. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, The Invisible Wall by Harry Bernstein, anything Christopher Moore, Mistress Shakespeare by Karen Harper, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez, The Virgin Blue by Tracy Chevalier, Water for Elephants, The Dust of 100 Dogs by A.S King, Henrietta Hornbuckle's Circus of Life by Michael de Guzman and currently reading The Midget's House (A Circus Story...A Love Story...A Ghost Story) by Anita Bartholomew. I could go on for hours. And I just noticed there seems to be a circus theme running through my list. Hmmmmm.

JK: Thoughts on E/Indie Publishing? Will it eat all of publishing as we know it?

SB: Given the way of movie and music stores, I’d say it’s really going to put up one heck of a fight if it doesn’t.

JK: And finally, what advice do you have for new writers?

SB: Read, read, read. Learn what agents and editors are looking for and not looking for in terms of writing. Ask for and take criticism well. And finally, don’t start your query letter with, “I’m giving you two weeks to read my future best selling novel…………”


Thank you, Sharon, for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with us
Thank you girl. Love you loads!
.
If you are interested in learning more about or the guidelines for submission at the Belcastro Agency, please visit http://www.belcastroagency.com/