Monday, August 12, 2013

Text Abbreviation Rejects

When the cool kids met and threw together a make-shift committee to start the acronym revolution on smart phones, these were some of the suggestions that got shot down.

EB: Eating bacon – An explanation for the texter being away from their cell phone to savor the pork entrée. Includes smelling.

OMDB: On my death bed. Rejected because the committee realized that it might not be important for a texter in this situation to get to their cell phone.

WTC: What the chuck? – As in Chuck Norris.

EBV: Extended bathroom visit – another quick explanation as to why the texter isn’t responding because they are purging something that ripped apart their stomach. Especially bad bacon.

WATB: What a total bore! – This is reserved as a comment about upper class and rich cutouts who not only get to lay around a pool and constantly browse social networks, but incessantly post gripes and every detail about their cushy lives. The suggestion was shot down because the committee realized that 80% of texters were going to be like this.

AOD: Abbreviations only. Driving – Used when a texter is in a pinch weaving through traffic so has to type acronyms to smart off to their friend’s gripe about their cushy life.

WIGUTMIFADMOMPDC: When I got up this morning, I found a dead mouse on my pillow. Damn cat. – Rejected because the committee feared that PITA would harass them.

JFG: Jaw fell to my groin – An astonished reaction to an outrageous posting. Rejected because, unfortunately, nothing surprises people anymore.

Gusto Dave

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