Thursday, August 8, 2013

Are You Cursed With a Typo Imp?

Can you use garlic, or a silver bullet, or something to get rid of this creep? Is there anybody out there that can surgically remove them? Because I’m pretty sure I got a Typo Imp stuck to my shoulder. It makes me feel like I should stuff my dreams of being a writer in the dumpster. Have you ever felt this way?

It would be easier if it were a devil on my shoulder tempting me to do naughty things. Then I could negotiate such enticements. With a refusal, I could be proud of taking the high road. But the Typo Imp slithers in between my imaginative clouds and jams the controls of my fingers. The monster forces me to write things like, “If your ever around town…” when I freakin’ know that it’s supposed to be YOU’RE! For cryin’ out loud, I learned the proper spelling of these words in elementary school! Even though I have a Bachelor’s of Science degree, the Imp reduces me to a slobbering fool on the page.

Yeah, yeah, I know. That’s what edits are for. Raise your hand, though, if you’ve edited something several times and still found goofs like these. That’s because the Typo Imp has got ya, man! We’re flippin’ doomed! In a query I sent out, not only did I miss this flub, but five—count ‘em, I said five—other authors did as well: “Charlaine Harris wrote the forward for my short story…” Forward? FORWARD? Arrrgghhhh! It wasn’t until the third submission that I caught it and changed the blooper to foreword. I had to go the boxing gym and attack the bag to keep from the throwing my computer through the wall.

Surely by now you’ve had the impulse to utter that we’re all human. I embrace being a flawed creation. It’s truly what makes us beautiful. Now the rebuttal. If the piece of writing was a live performance, I could easily live with the errors. I play guitar and part of the fun of soloing is knowing that you could pluck a sour note. Sometimes those dissonant notes can actually embellish an improvisational rendition! Unfortunately, misspellings don’t make a written composition sweeter. We have plenty of time and technology to weed them out, yet fail to detect them way too often. It’s not fair.

So join me. Let’s hold hands, make a circle, and exorcise this mischievous culprit. Typo Imp you will NOT disturb my hand again. Typo Imp you will NOT…

Crap. Did I misspell Charlaine?

Gusto Dave

1 comment:

Julie Luek said...

I'd curse the typo imp, but truly if he looks like that picture, I just want to kiss his cheek, pat his head and tell him to go be a good boy. He's so cute!

As for the typos, what's so irritating is that since I know what I mean to say, sometimes I read them that way too-- never see them. I've used voice-to-text to read things back to me before, just to make sure.