It’s not often—if I’ve even done it at all—that I’ve used the Rock to share my opinions or feelings. Generally, I keep postings limited to information helpful for writers (which I avoid opining in because I don’t consider myself an expert), promo, and some goofy entertainment from time to time.
But now there’s something heavy on my heart. To all our friends…my friends…please know that ol’ Gusto is a changed man.
Recently, I received a pretty crushing blow. Everyone is okay and in good health, including myself. But my world was shattered. And it really kind of came down to: I deserved it.
In many cases with loved ones, friends, and colleagues, I was a supreme ass. Sure, writers typically are a wee bit full of themselves, but I was pretty miserable, a lot of times placing myself first because of some pain in my earlier life that I constantly refused to deal with even when someone who loved me pleaded that I do so, and voilà—I only made myself worse. I fanned the flames of my insecurities and acted foolishly.
Slapped awake, I now know my mistakes so well that they jolt me like electricity each day. The only way for me to climb out of this is to change. I can’t undo my stupidity. But I can live everyday embracing the good that surrounds me like the Garden of Eden. It was because I refused to see these gifts, that I became so distorted. Never again.
There are quite a few acquaintances to whom I owe apologies. This posting is just an intro. I prefer to make my amends to these people personally, so it will be over time, but rest assured, I’ll chat with you and look forward to the camaraderie.
Lots of changes going on in my life’s play right now. They’re keeping me on my toes and making me sharp. I look forward to the waves settling down, though, because once they do, I want to REALLY give back for all the blessings I still have.
To put it in writing terms, I’m going to weather the ordeal and come out with the great lesson and the gimmick (a phrase coined by Dwight Swain) to overcome the dark spirits in the final act of the story. May the force be with me. I’ve already thrown away my light saber, because Jedi don’t give in to fear. J
Ernest Hemingway said, “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
Love you all,
Dave (still with some gusto that will be bouncing back soon)
P.S. Would love to hang out with writer buddies in any way. Need to be sociable.