Monday, April 4, 2011

Snow Write and the Seven Thwarts!

by Janet Fogg

Heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to write we go!

Some days of writing are true bliss, filled with beautiful forest creatures and a trill of heavenly lyrics as words cascade from my fingers. Then (harrumph!) there are days when I wonder which of the Seven Thwarts I’m channeling. Or is it the Jealous Queen?

When Doc’s in charge he always lets my characters take 90 degree turns. Who gave those minor characters permission to become so interesting? Doc! Doesn’t he know they shouldn’t overshadow my hero and heroine? You’re a pain, Doc, and it’s about time someone told you that to your face. Why don’t you fall in love with the wrong person or jump off that cliff? And where did that puppy come from? He’s not in this story!

Ah, Grumpy, I hate it when you visit, you old sourpuss. On those days not one sentence turns out well. I stare out the window, look in the refrigerator, start laundry, go for a walk, clean the bathroom, check my email, and look at Facebook. Again and again. Any excuse will do. Sigh. But… even though it’s painful, if I wrestle you down the mineshaft and return to my computer, when I re-read those forced sentences my prose isn’t too bad. So why are you so cranky, anyway? Just go away.

Happy, you’re hysterical! It’s good to stop and have a party! But the real joy of your visits finds me “in the groove.” Words flow like the wind. New ideas, details, exciting resolutions for my characters, it’s so much fun! I should forewarn you though, in a month or so when I’m working on my science fiction manuscript again, you should probably take that tickle trip to Disney. Okay? No joke.

Sleepy? I don’t need no stinkin’ sleep! That’s why I get up at three or four in the morning to write, work on marketing materials, blog, and answer emails. You know I’ve never been a good sleeper and I relish the silent dark in the wee hours of the morn. Sleepy, I’m sorry, but you and I will never get along. Go take a nap.

The trees will be pollinating soon, Sneezy. Lucky you. Unlucky me. But I was also thinking about the days when I feel positively allergic to my writing, when anything that flows from my brain makes my skin crawl and my eyes itch. Let me get a new box of tissues so I can start again, after I clean off my computer screen. Gesundheit!

Dopey? Have you been partying with Happy again? Silly boy. You two should corner Grumpy and see what you can do. Oh, and you can always drop by when I’m writing these blogs. It’s a hoot! Let’s plan another play-date soon.

Me? Bashful? In my heart I think so. Modest, at least, even though in public I’m pretty darn good at wearing that professional face I designed so long ago. Yes, it’s absolutely true that I don’t like talking about myself. Don’t get me wrong, I like people, I like to hang out, but I like to listen. Could my written words just speak for me? Please? I spend most of my days with my characters, listening to them, creating their worlds. Creating worlds? That's powerful stuff. Takes nerve to do that. Guess I’m not that bashful. So what does that make me? Hey, don’t answer that!

Shhh… Here comes the Jealous Queen! She’s scary. I whip out my wand, demand that she ignore reviews and rankings and awards, but sometimes she just snarls at me and heads to the grocery store for more hairspray. It’s not easy to confront her. I know though, if I stop worrying about whether I’m revealing some horrid side of myself, my writing will improve, be more honest. When I’m fearless I see Snow Write reflected in my mirror and in my writing. Once upon a time my words (dare I say it?) will be the fairest of them all. It’ll be okay to pat myself on the back and whisper, “Well done. You did your best.” Or does that only happen in a fairy tales?

(This time next week? Join me for: A Sixth Sense?)


Laura K. Deal said...

Thanks for the laughs this morning! It's good to be reminded that the happy distractions are just as dangerous as the grumpy ones.

Sarah Grimm said...

Fantastic blog post! I think Doc likes hanging out at my place. I get a lot of 'where did that come from?' moments.


Vonnie Davis said...

Your post title made me laugh outloud. NO small feat since I was bemoaning the length of my to-do list when all I want to do is write. Fabulous post, by the way.

Anonymous said...


You are indeed Snow Write. And since your sweet and inocent charisma is all powerful, please help me get that image of snot on the laptop screen out of my head!!!!

And to Queen Writer's Block:

You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But Snow-White, beyond the mountains with the seven dwarfs,
is still a thousand times fairer than you.

Write on intrepid inkers!
Karen Lin

Barbara Edwards said...

hysterically funny. Loved your post.

Janet Fogg said...

Thanks, everyone!

Thus far, I think Happy is visiting me today, though I did buy some allergy relief eye drops. Just in case...

I hope Happy visits you as well!


N. R. Williams said...

What good examples you've made of the seven dwarfs. I like it.
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium.

j. a. kazimer said...

Love it! These little buggers visit me everytime I sit down to write, at least I now have names for them!

Anonymous said...

Just goes to show that a great title will draw you to a book. This delightful title got me "turning the page." And I wasn't disappointed. This is the most colorful and creative "definition" of distraction that I've ever read.
Ann Best, Long Journey Home

Diane Marie Shaw said...

Don't we all find our writing space getting crowded when the dwarfs all try to show up on the same day? Should we put them on a rotating schedule?

Leigh D'Ansey said...

Very clever. Thanks for the :)s
Write on!

Sandra Koehler said...

Great new take on the writing process...very creative..Alison Chambers

Shannon said...

Sorry for the late response, but thanks for the laugh! I'm looking forward to tomorrow's sixth sense