Wednesday, March 23, 2016


When I was a kid, you could get me to do just about anything for candy. Wasn't it like that for you too? Now, I'll do anything for a beer, but as a kid, it was candy. "Oh you want me to do 3 hours of math for a little packet of Sweet Tarts? Sounds like a deal!"

When you're a kid, you have no sense of commerce. Teachers milk that trick too, don't they? "If the students ever find out that candy is our secret, it'll topple the whole elementary educational system."

Remember those Tootsie Pop commercials where the boy asks the owl how many licks it takes to get to the chocolate, then the owl grabs the sucker, licks it three times, then flippantly bites into it? If I'd been that dude, cheated out of my candy, I'd unleashed my cat on him. "Let's see how many bites it takes for kitty to get to your chewy center, wise ass."

Not just childhood, but through my teens, I loved Snickers. The perfect junk food meal! Really satisfies. (All you old-timers will remember that ad). Nowadays, the only time I eat a Snickers is if I'm feeling insecure about my comedy. Then a Payday when I'm broke. And if I'm randy, Mounds!

Frozen mini Reese's peanut butter cups will be the death of me. The paramedics will crash in and find me sprawled across the floor with all those golden foil papers crumpled up around me...and the biggest smile they've ever seen.

Gusto Dave


Sisters of the Quill said...

Snickers are Wen's go-to ski food. We have a stash of them. I'm the good momma on the block who passes out goldfish bags on Halloween - and the kids LOVE them. No kidding. For me, I'd trade a bag of just about anything for one good truffle. I like Lindor balls, for example. As a kid I traded pounds of candy for just two that I liked (special dark Hershey's were good ones.. and Reese's P.B.Cups). And don't sick a cat on me... There's no center in my Tootsie Pop. :( Karen

Patricia Stoltey said...

Frozen Snickers are good, but those peanut butter cups would be the death of me, frozen or not, if I dared bring them into the house.