Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Forget What You Know About Women and Sexy

During college, I had a fling with a fashionista who always had long red nails – part of her overall cosmetic mystique. I once told her I’d still see her (we’ll say for lack of spicier words) even without the scorching scratchers. Never will this leave my memory. She said, “I don’t do it for you. I do it to show off to other women.” She was nothing if not practical and that opened up an entire world to me which showed the competitive nature of ladies when it comes to looks.
We guys get a bad rap when it comes to beholding beauty. Sure, Kim Kardashian’s naked butt flaunted in front of us almost daily in a corner of our internet screen gets our attention. We are, after all, hairy trolls, but our radars are tuned to so many thing in a woman that are attractive.

Don’t believe me? I have here a list of super sexy women who are not touted as such nearly enough. This is how legit this is: My girlfriend gave her stamp of approval on this article! Also, I’ve run these names by several beer swilling buds and they said they would (you need to use your imagination here – I avoid F bombs on the Rock) them. Ladies, you more than likely have some crazy cute features. Don’t be afraid to capitalize on them this Valentine’s Day. Check out these vixens. Yes, vixens.
So, you had to have seen Mayim Bialik’s pic at the top. Think about how Amy Farrah Fowler doesn’t expose any of her goods next to the blonds adjacent to her on the Big Bang Theory yet my cronies used ‘bang’ to describe a certain fantasy act with her. If I were Koothrappali, I’d elbow Sheldon out of the way and study biology with his carefully controlled mate.

The labels ‘plus size’ and ‘full figured’ annoy me. I prefer ‘hot’ by itself. You can imagine how my caveman cohorts salivated when they saw this picture of Ashely Graham.

How could I scribe an article on a blog about writing without mentioning an author? If you type Stephanie Meyer in a Google search, it will bring up popular searches associated with her and one of them, no joke, will say: hot. This means thousands of dudes (and girls) are browsing Steph and tagging her as a looker. Pretty good for a geeky pencil pusher.

A sense of humor, glasses and or bright smile can drive a guy wild and these lovely ladies work combinations there of. Kathleen Madigan, Irish drinker, funny little pixie, is so cute! And Liz Lemon herself! What two fisted bloke with half a brain and libido wouldn’t get a little weak in the knees from the sassy smart Tina? Mindy Kaling – she plays a gynecologist on TV and of course the ‘let’s play doctor with Mindy’ remarks came out when I asked the Neanderthals what they thought.

Age makes no difference either. About Helen Mirren, I think Jack Black summed it up nicely at an awards ceremony on live TV when he called her hot and all the men applauded. 

It's this simple. Women are beautiful. Happy Valentine's Day!

Gusto Dave

1 comment:

Sisters of the Quill said...

For exotic - Nastassja Kinski - think Cat People, for approachable-real - Téa Leoni - except when she tries to be other than she is with the hyper low cut dresses (makes her generic instead of girl-next-door beautiful), for butch - Lena Headey total Terminator Mom. Prefer less conventional Tracy Chapman over traditionally pretty Halle Berry or Beyoncé. In the end, how an woman is in an interview will have a much bigger effect on whether I can have a girl crush on her, not necessarily her "looks."
P.S. Robert Downey Jr. and Will Smith over any of the other top 50.... I totally outgrew Johnny Depp because of his nasty attitude. - Karen