Monday, December 27, 2010

Citation: Order of the Chocolate Donut

HEADQUARTERS CIR WRITING CORPS
CIRWCPO 23
27 Dec 2010


General Order Number 12

ORDER OF THE CHOCOLATE DONUT. Under the provisions of Section 19, Circular Number 333, CIR Writing Corps, 01 Dec 1999 and Circular Number 4, HQ, CIR Writing Corps, 26 Dec 1980, as amended,

YOU (WRITER) are hereby cited for outstanding performance of duty in action, in the immediate vicinity of desk, worktable, kitchen, recliner, bed, floor, book store, and/or preferred coffee shop, as pertains to Completion of Writing Mission (Mission), said Mission defined as writing any of the following: novel, novelette, short story, non-fiction book, article, cookbook, reference guide, poem, screenplay, memoir, how-to guide, essay, stage play, or equivalents, and/or completion of associated relevant tasks such as: query letters, résumé, outline, short synopsis, long synopsis, web site, blogs, critique meetings, captions, writers conferences, continuing education, outlines, research, and revisions/edits necessary to fully complete the assault phase of this important Mission.

MISSION SUMMARY: Unpredictable problems exemplified by receipt of opinionated critique, rejection letters, and/or fear of completion of Mission did not ultimately impede the progress of Writer. This aggressive action enabled Writer to complete the Mission.

Fanatic resistance at home and/or during Writer’s day-job did not fail to dim the fighting spirit of the Writer, nor did additional difficulties created by the blue screen of death.

Subject to incessant self-doubt, Writer continued on Mission despite unexpected plot reversals, which was accomplished smoothly only as a result of intensive commitment to chocolate donuts, or equivalent.

Outstanding examples of valor were numerous as Writer made advances in their extremely difficult Mission only after meeting and mastering several seemingly impossible backup problems with which they were confronted. This final accomplishment enabled Writer to drive forward and crush resistance.

The outstanding performance and inspired efforts of Writer, whether published or unpublished, exemplifies their deep devotion to duty and the highest traditions of the CIR Writing Corp.

BY COMMAND OF HQ
CIR WRITING CORP
AS RECORDED BY ADJUTANT, JANET FOGG
27 DEC 2010

7 comments:

Shannon said...

I humbly accept said citation and commend all writers for their diligence.

Janet Fogg said...

Congratulations, Shannon.

Patricia Stoltey said...

I'm diligently crushing resistance (mine) as we speak.

Ron at CM said...

As a stretch across my messy desk to accept this prestigious honor, I'm oddly distracted by two questions.

1. Can I eat a chocolate donut [sic, damned spell check wants doughnut] right after a handful of chocolate macadamia nuts?

2. What the heck does the freakin' acronym CIR...? doh... nevermind.

B^) --- jeezelaweeze... my antispam word is a really silly one... heene... does it rhyme with keen or weeny? Oh, so much to ponder in this life...

Janet Fogg said...

Well done, Pat. Keep it up.

Janet Fogg said...

Ron, so glad you're able to accept this citation.

As the original definition does refer to dough + nut, I believe there's no danger in ingesting macadamia nuts subsequent to masticating a chocolate donut.

In regards to your anti-spam reference, I fear this made me envision a Spam donut, which is NOT recommended, except perhaps, in the most severe emergency.

However, I now feel compelled to point out an alternate definition for donut or doughnut, which is: anything shaped like a ring, such as the reaction vessel of a thermonuclear reactor.

Anonymous said...

Resistance may be futile but do holiday circular firing squads count? Sir? Um, Ma'am?
Karen Lin